i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Randomize
