I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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