It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize