he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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