I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize