tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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