man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
