My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Randomize
