Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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