you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
the day after is always just damage control
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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