She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
