i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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