Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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