Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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