oh god the rape fog is back!
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
She bit a glass in half.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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