I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
