He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
