Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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