does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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