Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
