how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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