i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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