at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Randomize