Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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