Midget sex pt 2 tonight
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
