dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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