Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize