just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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