Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
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