I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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