Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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