Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize