my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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