I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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