Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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