Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
