No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize