i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I am one with the molecules
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
