why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
