I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
