I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
