I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
