I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
