Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Randomize
