Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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