Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
