so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Randomize
