I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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