she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
no more duck duck goose at the bar
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
