:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
The beers last night were like the tears from god
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
