I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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