Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
