Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
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