what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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