my mouth tastes like poor choices
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
