you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
