He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize