You're a womanizer and a bitch.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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