Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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