So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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