you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Randomize
