Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
