I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
In America we eat man semen.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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