I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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