now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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