i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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