Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
