Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
